I was hanging around at my boyfriend’s place (in hindsight he was probably Satan) and we were just chilling, doing normal things, when a long, sleek, black car pulled up outside of his house. My boyfriend, suddenly very nervous and twitchy, told me to go and hide in the closet. When I asked him what was up, he just told me it was a “work associate” so I went and did as he said. I peeked a little bit out of the closet to see who this person was. I wanted to see who could possibly get my boyfriend, the actual Devil, to tremble in fear. And lo and behold, it was Ted Cruz.
Reflections on this post:
1. I need to read URLs.
2. “in hindsight he was probably Satan” may be the single greatest hook to a story that I’ve ever seen.
3. The levels of stress and suspense that occur in the rising action here rival that of some of the greatest survival horror works that exist on this earth.
4. “And lo and behold, it was Ted Cruz” is probably the only sentence that could make the conclusion to this story more terrifying, and ended the story in a way far superior to anything my own sense of dread could have come up with.
i’ll never forget one of the funniest conversations i’ve ever had was with my boyfriend one day when we were hanging out and i guess he saw some meme about the tax evasion yoshi and he genuinely asked me very concerned like “is this real?? did yoshi really do this? did he really commit tax evasion???” …so naturally i was like ‘yeah duh you didn’t know that?” and had him going on about it for like five minutes
Re: that Anti-Guad blocklist post: "An Anti-Guad blocklist or Anti-Guad registry is a list of personal usernames that are off-limits to ukulele sellers on some websites, including high-profile social media such as Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and Reddit.[2] Etymology: Corsica, one of eighteen regions of France, exports the highest number of ukuleles per capita of any place in the world.[5] Because of this, the Corsican word for ukulele, guad, is used in this term."
what the heck does this mean and what does it have to do with that weird pink icon that’s associated with it
Who tf would be calling you fat and ugly lmao they'd literally be fabricating things
hahaha i just got like two or three anon messages a few months ago trying to be mean to be. i dont really think much of insults like that though so it didnt bother me. i just thought they were funny.
